HEAR YE, HEAR YE. THE GOOD BOOK OF LIB BE UPON US!
THE BOOK OF LIB
Chapter 1
IN THE BEGINNING, there was nothing. Then there was the big bangeth, which did issue forth over billions of years all the universe and all its diverse particles from the "singularity", which was also nothing. These particles included atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, quarks, neutrinos, toxins and carbon. The universe thus comes from nothing and exists in nothing and is constantly expanding into more nothing. Billions of years later, it was theretofore cleverly deduced by progressive humans who live upon a small portion of a tiny speck in this vast sea of black nothingness, and who discovered internal combustion a century ago, that the existance of God is a preposterous superstition.
Anyhow, it came to pass that one day a few atoms got together to form protein, and a few proteins formed a sphere, and inside these spheres developed long chains of amino acids which organized in such a way as to replicate themselves. From a few billion years of this came life.
At first, life was anaerobic and peaceful and sought to generate green energy by capturing the sun's wholesome rays and turning them into ATP for the benefit of all other single celled organisms. There were no religion and no countries, and all the organisims lived for the day. This paradise was called slime mold.
Then one day a greedy, antisocial organism nefariously developed something called the electron transport chain, and began to amass more ATP than the other organisms which it wouldn't share. Incidentally, this organism was called D. cheynicoccus. Soon cheynicoccus grew a fancy new flagellum with all his spare ATP, and then he began to phagocytose the peaceful, green egalitarian anaerobes. Thus, the first income inequity and violence began, concurrent with the birth of the Republican party- 2.3 billion years ago this week.
And so it was that violence and unfairness besmudged gaia the Earth mother, and soon the peaceful eco-conscious slime molds were relegated to the very periphery of thier own planet as more and more fascist organisms competed with one another to steal the most ATP.....
stay tuned for Chapter 2
Chapter 1
IN THE BEGINNING, there was nothing. Then there was the big bangeth, which did issue forth over billions of years all the universe and all its diverse particles from the "singularity", which was also nothing. These particles included atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, quarks, neutrinos, toxins and carbon. The universe thus comes from nothing and exists in nothing and is constantly expanding into more nothing. Billions of years later, it was theretofore cleverly deduced by progressive humans who live upon a small portion of a tiny speck in this vast sea of black nothingness, and who discovered internal combustion a century ago, that the existance of God is a preposterous superstition.
Anyhow, it came to pass that one day a few atoms got together to form protein, and a few proteins formed a sphere, and inside these spheres developed long chains of amino acids which organized in such a way as to replicate themselves. From a few billion years of this came life.
At first, life was anaerobic and peaceful and sought to generate green energy by capturing the sun's wholesome rays and turning them into ATP for the benefit of all other single celled organisms. There were no religion and no countries, and all the organisims lived for the day. This paradise was called slime mold.
Then one day a greedy, antisocial organism nefariously developed something called the electron transport chain, and began to amass more ATP than the other organisms which it wouldn't share. Incidentally, this organism was called D. cheynicoccus. Soon cheynicoccus grew a fancy new flagellum with all his spare ATP, and then he began to phagocytose the peaceful, green egalitarian anaerobes. Thus, the first income inequity and violence began, concurrent with the birth of the Republican party- 2.3 billion years ago this week.
And so it was that violence and unfairness besmudged gaia the Earth mother, and soon the peaceful eco-conscious slime molds were relegated to the very periphery of thier own planet as more and more fascist organisms competed with one another to steal the most ATP.....
stay tuned for Chapter 2
posted by The TDL News Team at 10:58 PM
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