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Thursday, December 06, 2007

TDL CONSPIRACIES REVEALED: Bush To Attack Mars!!!

By: A.C#1


Through one of our anonymous sources TDL has learned that President Bush plans to launch a preemptive attack, and invasion of Mars!

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Our anonymous source with his Android mail order bride

These accusations shocked us all to the core, and were impossible to believe at first, but our due diligence as journalists led us to another anonymous source who backed up our worst fears, even though we considered the possibility that the second source was just an Alien Replicant from Beyond the Moon version of our first source...

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We have yet to confirm Source No.2's replicant status

...we decided to take him at his word. This source unveiled the true intent of President Bush's unprecedented extra-terrestrial plans:

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As these top secret documents clearly show, the Administration desires a mercenary colony with which to launch further space conquest in the name of Imperial America, and to use these great triumphs as the basis for consolidating his iron grip on power before the 2008 election.


Previous Conspiracies:

CIA to use Worlds Fattest Assassin

Iran's Secret Weapons Systems