TDL WORLD: VENEZUELAN SCIENTISTS CREATE PERFECT WOMAN
By: A.C #1
TDL NEWS has recently uncovered a plot by Venezuelan Presidente Hugo Chavez that will have far reaching effects upon the world stage for years to come. In a remote camp deep within the Venezuelan rainforest, Chavez, who as we all know is flush with billions of dollars in oil revenue, has commissioned rogue Dutch scientists to create an irresistible force of nature which he believes will ensure the success of his march toward dominance in South America. This is what they've came up with: Project Codename Vanessa Peretti
Yeah I know what you’re thinking: she’s pretty hot but I go to ass aficionado I’ve seen better. What makes her the key to Chavez’s scheme of globalizing Bolivarian revolution???
1. She’s deaf.
2. She’s mute.
I know it’s not easy to digest, so take your time.
Because it’s all true; she looks like that and you don’t have to listen to her go on and on with dopey stories about her slut girlfriends, or the new shoes she just bought, or her feelings about this or that, because she can’t fucking talk! Not to mention that you also don’t have to….. man, you don’t have to talk to her about your day, or your feelings, or your mother, or why you won’t marry her, or why you get hammered and pass out on the front lawn. And if you decide to take off to Vegas for like a week and she gets all pissed, you could just be like: “Well I told you I was leaving- you must not have heard me because you’re frigging deaf,” or you could not tell her a damn thing because she can’t hear you anyway.
Do you see how terrifying a development this is??? Imagine an army of beautiful deaf mutes from Venezuela marching upon your neighborhood; the entire nation could be subjugated in a matter of hours! I think there is only one thing that could prevent Hugo Chavez from realizing his socialist dream. All American women must (voluntarily) be forced to have the ability to speak and hear stricken from them. Women of America this must be done! It is a matter of survival for our great society.
TDL NEWS has recently uncovered a plot by Venezuelan Presidente Hugo Chavez that will have far reaching effects upon the world stage for years to come. In a remote camp deep within the Venezuelan rainforest, Chavez, who as we all know is flush with billions of dollars in oil revenue, has commissioned rogue Dutch scientists to create an irresistible force of nature which he believes will ensure the success of his march toward dominance in South America. This is what they've came up with: Project Codename Vanessa Peretti
Yeah I know what you’re thinking: she’s pretty hot but I go to ass aficionado I’ve seen better. What makes her the key to Chavez’s scheme of globalizing Bolivarian revolution???
1. She’s deaf.
2. She’s mute.
I know it’s not easy to digest, so take your time.
Because it’s all true; she looks like that and you don’t have to listen to her go on and on with dopey stories about her slut girlfriends, or the new shoes she just bought, or her feelings about this or that, because she can’t fucking talk! Not to mention that you also don’t have to….. man, you don’t have to talk to her about your day, or your feelings, or your mother, or why you won’t marry her, or why you get hammered and pass out on the front lawn. And if you decide to take off to Vegas for like a week and she gets all pissed, you could just be like: “Well I told you I was leaving- you must not have heard me because you’re frigging deaf,” or you could not tell her a damn thing because she can’t hear you anyway.
Do you see how terrifying a development this is??? Imagine an army of beautiful deaf mutes from Venezuela marching upon your neighborhood; the entire nation could be subjugated in a matter of hours! I think there is only one thing that could prevent Hugo Chavez from realizing his socialist dream. All American women must (voluntarily) be forced to have the ability to speak and hear stricken from them. Women of America this must be done! It is a matter of survival for our great society.
posted by The TDL News Team at 3:27 PM
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