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Sunday, August 20, 2006

TDL ANALYSIS - Iran's August 22nd Surprise

By: Number 2

Many of you have heard rumblings coming out of Iran about August 22nd. According to acclaimed scholar Bernard Lewis this date may end up having grave consequences for all of us. In a nutshell, the 22nd corresponds to the day Muhammad ascended to heaven and returned to Earth. The Ayatollah Khomeini, who was the spiritual guru of present Iranian despot Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, beleived that this also was the day in which Muslims must either take back the world from the infedels or die trying.

Mr. Lewis however declines to speculate on what exactly the Islamic Republic may have up their sleves for this day. We here at TDL have no such compunctions, and have assembled a crack team of Middle Eastern scholars to theorize exactly what may happen on August 22, 2006. Here are their theories.

Hamed al Bazeeri, Center for the Study of Bearded Whackjobs.
The Islamic Republic, forsaking such decadence as air conditioning, iPods and soap, has devoted it's entire budget to the creation of an unstoppable army of robot jihadis. These fearsome followers of Islam will work tirelessly to kill the infedels and spread the ummah to all corners of the Earth. Best of all, they can convert the blood of the Jews into fuel.

Mustaffa Amir, University of Sandykrak
Iranian scientists, while digging the world's deepest nuclear bunker, have discovered a previously unknown subterranian world. The monstrous inhabitants of this 'Lost Caliphate' can be used to launch a proxy war on the Zionists and their Amerikkkan allies, much like we have been doing with those stupid Palestinians.

Omar Omar Husseni, Bob's Big Boy Community College & Pancake House
When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth. To kill the Jews.