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Tuesday, June 13, 2006


by: Number 4

Dick List World Cup Preview: Cote D'Ivorie (CIV)

Making their first appearance in The FIFA World Cup Finals, the 'Elephants' of the Ivory Coast are poised to make some noise. Many experts are making Cote D'Ivorie their "dark-horse" pick for the 2006 World Cup. Why's that you ask?? TDL breaks down team Ivory Coast.....

The first surprise of the 2006 World Cup came early last week when head coach Michel-Henri Dubois was fired and replaced with a billygoat who also happens to be Ivory Coast's finance minster. Despite charges of government favoritism, Ivory Coast's Director of Football Operations Jean-Jacques Mali BooBoo *Click* *Click* strongly defended the move.

(In what was seen as a regretable instance of a culture clash a Cote 'd Ivory Witch Doctor attempted to curse English Soccer stud David Beckman with a dead chicken during World Cup qualifying.)

"Our players can relate and identify with their new head coach Mssr. Georges Hebert le Goat. Within the first week of practice, Mssr. Georges H.L.G. has put the team on a rigid diet of Ivoary Coast's national dish, OglaBopBop: dirt, sand, and fleas mixed with high-protein gazelle dung. This subtle change in diet has rejuvinated our players, and has made them ready to spear any team that stands in their way."

Pre-tournament excitement has been high in Ivory Coast's football camp. The team's top striker, Jaques *click* Oooglieboo, actually had to be caged in between practices for hunting and attempting to eat the 2006 World Cup Mascot, Goleo VI the "Lovable Lion". His blow-gun and poison darts now confiscated, Oooglieboo is poised to wreak havoc on the field instead of off it. Last season, he scored over 35 goals for his club team Cadbury Hotspur United of the English Premier League.

Whatever the case, Ivory Coast looks like they may be a force to be reckoned with in this years grand soccer tournament. TDL Odds 8:1