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Saturday, November 19, 2005

BOWL SEASON WEEK 2

THE DICK LIST/USA TODAY TOP 25 DOUCHEBAG POLL week 2, 11/21/05-11/27/05
-----------------------------pts.-(last wk.)
1. CINDY SHEEHAN (30)-----------1,499----(1)
2. ABU MUSAB AL ZARKAWI (27)----1,486----(4)
3. GEORGE SOROS (1)-------------1,410----(2)
4. OSAMA BIN LADEN--------------1,394----(3)
5. JACQUES CHIRAC---------------1,297----(5)
6. HUGO CHAVEZ------------------1,127----(7)
7. HOWARD DEAN------------------1,036----(10)
8. HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON---------991----(8)
9. RAY NAGIN----------------------832----(6)
10. MAUREEN DOWD------------------777----(11)
11. BILL MAHR---------------------721----(12)
12. SEAN PENN---------------------666----(9)
13. NANCY PELOSI------------------659----(18)
14. MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD-----------635----(13)
15. KIM JONG IL-------------------630----(15)
16. BARBARA STREISAND-------------578----(23)
17. AYMAN AL ZWAHIRI--------------513----(16)
18. AL FRANKEN--------------------499----(14)
19. TED KENNEDY-------------------487----(19)
20. BILL CLINTON------------------400----(NR)
21. GEORGE GALLOWAY---------------267----(21)
22. JAMES MASSEY------------------252----(17)
23. JOHNNY DEPP-------------------123----(NR)
24. JON STEWART--------------------80----(25)
25. DOMINIQUE DE VILLEPIN----------61----(NR)

OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: OLIVER STONE (57), JESSE JACKSON (49), GERHARD SCHROEDER(34), TERELL OWENS (32), KOFI ANNAN (29), TED KOPPEL (17), "RED" KEN LIVINGSTON (14), JOHN MURTHA (10), MICHAEL MOORE (7), PARIS HILTON (4), STEVEN COLBERT (1).

DROPPED FROM RANKINGS: GERHARD SCHROEDER (20), KOFI ANNAN (22), PARIS HILTON (24).

BOWL PROJECTIONS: 11/21/05

MAJOR DCS BOWLS

The Summer's Eve DOUCHE BOWL Interational Championship Game
Jan 3, 2006

#1 Cindy Sheehan v. #2 Abu Musab Al Zarkawi

The NARAL ABORTION BOWL
Jan 1, 2006

#3 George Soros v. #4 Osama Bin Laden

The Moveon.org STALIN BOWL
Jan 1, 2006

#5 Jacques Chirac v. #6 Hugo Chavez

The NAMBLA MOLLESTA BOWL
Jan 1, 2006

#7 Howard Dean v. #8 Hillary Clinton


MINOR BOWLS

The French Tourism Board SURRENDER BOWL
Dec. 31, 2005

Terrorist #1 v. Eurofag #1
#17 Ayman Al Zwahiri v. #21 George Galloway

The Barry Bonds BALCO BOWL
Dec. 31, 2005

Dick Athlete #1 v. Dick Athlete #2
Terrell Owens v. Ugueth Urbina

The DNC WELFARE BOWL
Dec. 30, 2005

Scumbag Politician #1 v. Scumbag Politician #2
#9 Ray Nagin v. #13 Nancy Pelosi

The European Commission APPEASEMENT BOWL
Dec. 30, 2005

Terrorist #2 v. Liberal Talking Head #1
Sami Al Arian v. #10 Maureen Dowd

The CBS/BBC BIAS BOWL
Dec. 29, 2005

Liberal Talking Head #2 v. Liberal Talking Head #3
#11 Bill Mahr v. #18 Al Franken

The Dik-Fil-A TRANSGENDER BOWL
Dec. 28, 2005

Race Baiter #1 v. Scumbag Politician #3
Jesse Jackson v. #19 Ted Kennedy

The National Organization Of Women BUTCH BOWL
Dec. 28, 2005

Asshole Entertainer #1 v. Fag/Lesbian #1
#12 Sean Penn v. Rosie O' Donnel

The Columbia University DIVERSITY DOUBLESPEAK BOWL
Dec. 27, 2005

Tyrant #1 v. Tyrant #2
#14 Mahmoud Ahmadinejad v. #15 Kim Jong Il

The New York Times JASON BLAIR AFFIRMATIVE ACTION CLASSIC
Dec. 26, 2005

Asshole Entertainer #2 v. Terrorist#4
#16 Barbara Streisand v. Mullah Omar

The Lance Armstrong AWARENESS AWARENESS BOWL
Dec. 25, 2005

Liberal Talking Head #4 v. Asshole Entertainer #3
#24 Jon Stewart v. #23 Johnny Depp

The Jim McGreevey CORRUPT FAGGOT BOWL
Dec. 24, 2005

Eurofag #2 v. At Large
#25 Dominique De Villepin v. #20 Bill Clinton

The Village Voice DIRT ROAD BOWL
Dec. 23, 2005

Fag/Lesbian #2 v. Eurofag #3
Ellen Degeneres v. Gerhard Schroeder

The Howard Dean BULLSHIT BOWL
Dec 22, 2005.

At Large v. Tyrant #3
#22 James Massey v. Saddam Hussein

The National Islamic Council BLOW YOURSELF UP BOWL
Dec. 22, 2005

Race Baiter #2 v. At Large
Al Sharpton v. Oliver Stone

The Dick List DICK BOWL
Dec. 21, 2005

At Large v. At Large
Kofi Annan v. Ted Koppel

The Hilton CHLAMYDIA BOWL
Dec. 21, 2005

Tyrant #4 v. At Large
Fidel Castro v. John Murtha

The Diamond Walnuts SACK O' NUTS BOWL
Dec. 20, 2005

At Large v. At Large
Michael Moore v. Paris Hilton

The Leonardo DiCaprio CLIMATE CHANGE BOWL
Dec. 20, 2005

Fag/Lesbian #3 v. Eurofag #4
Barney Frank v. Ken Livingston

The Bill Buckner MASSHOLE BOWL
Dec. 15, 2005

Dick Athlete #3 v. Dick Athlete #4
Rafael Palmiero v. Manny Ramirez


AL ZARKAWI IN POSITION TO CONTEND FOR INTERNATIONAL TITLE; BILL CLINTON BACK IN RANKINGS
November 21, 2005

NEW YORK (Reuters)- What a week for Abu Musab Al Zarkawi. First he blew up a wedding reception and now finds himself in prime position to caputre his first international championship as the terrorist catapulted past George Soros and Osama Bin Laden into the #2 spot in the lastest top 25 poll. Al Zarkawi trails #1 Cindy Sheehan by only 13 votes as the "peace mom" narrowly held on to the top spot by announcing an upcoming book deal and European tour.

Largely due to his astounding inability to quell the 3 week old Muslim riots in France, Jacques Chirac held steady at #5 while Hugo Chavez climbed to #6 after his high-profile international row with the president of Mexico, Vincente Fox.

After a near virtuoso performance of childishness on last week's Sunday talk shows, Howard Dean climbed into the DCS bowl picture at #7. Rounding out the top ten is #8 Hillary Clinton followed by #9 Ray Nagin and #10 Maureen Dowd.

The always sickening Bill Mahr is #11 whereas Sean Penn fell to #12 after a quiet week. Nancy Pelosi jumped 5 spots to #13 after congressional Democrats attempted to exploit public opinion by proposing an Iraq pullout. After failing to threaten the futher destruction of Israel, Iranian strongman Mahmoud Ahmadinejad slipped to #14 followed by #15 Kim Jong Il.

Barbara Streisand vaulted to #16 after she proposed the impeachment of president Bush. Bin Laden lieutennant Ayman Al Zwahiri is #17followed by Al Franken and Ted Kennedy.

Making his first appearence in the top 25 polls since 2000, Bill Clinton took the #20 spot after he criticized the very same Iraq war that he claimed was necessary back in 2003. British blowhard and Saddam Hussein crony George Galloway climbed to #21 after new corruption charges were leveled against him. James Massey slipped to #22.

Johnny Depp entered the poll at #23 after he announced he will move from France because it is too violent. As some might remmeber, Depp claimed to have immigrated from the United States because of all the violence here. Jon Stewart's overt liberal bias and lack of comedic skill lifted him to #24 and French weasel Dominique DeVillepin rounded out the top 25.